But I loved you…

Will you ever really know how lucky you were?

To have felt a love so unshakable?

I loved you.

I admired you.

& all that you were.

& believe me when I say…you had more flaws than most.

But I loved you anyways.

You and your lost soul found comfort in my arms.

You took all I had to give.

Selfishly accepting my fearless love.

Hoping one day you could do the same.

But we both know you never had anything real to give.


You never failed to impress.

In the beginning.

You Shined.

You Wined & Dined me into an alternate reality.

All of your efforts, just a distraction from the main event.

Hidden in plain sight.

Your insecurities obscured in the allure of a life you never earned.

But I loved you anyways.

I really   L O V E D     you.

Even though you might not ever know what that really means.

I    R E A L L Y     L O V E D      Y O U


& Just when I think I’ve moved on from it all…

That song comes on the radio.

The gut wrenching pain strikes.

The loss.

The Pain.

All over again.

The absence of this love I once felt for you.

The devastation of losing the only person I ever gave my everything to.


I can’t find it in myself to ever be vulnerable again.

I can’t.

Imagine letting myself love like that again.

I can’t.

Feel that gut wrenching pain.

Ever.

Again.

Cement barricades in the little love I have left to give.


You took it all.

So unapologetically.

So entitled.

You left me with…n o t h i n g.

You couldn’t care less.

You stole the chance for me to ever love again.

You took it all.


& yet…

I found solace in the rubble.

I found strength in the pain.

I found clarity in the dark.

I made peace with it all.

I’m stronger than ever.

I’m wiser now.

That piece of me I gave to you is scarred over now.

That piece was my  E V E R Y T H I N G.

But it’s better this way.

Scars heal twice as strong….

I have a full time guard at my gate now.

I won’t ever be caught empty handed again.

I won’t ever give my all to somebody who doesn’t deserve it.

Never.

Again.


But I loved you.

How could you give that up?

Didn’t you see it in my eyes?

Didn’t you feel it in my touch?

Didn’t you hear it in my voice?

You surely let my love build you up.

Only so you could tear me down.

& leave me standing on the edge of tallest building in the world.

With   N O T H I N G.


But I found my wings…

Watch me soar.

Higher than you ever will.

Watch me fly.

Farther than you could ever dream.


Watch me fall.

Again.

Twice as hard.

Twice as smart.

I have an arsenal now….

Watch me fight.

For Love.

For Somebody who deserves it.


One thought on “But I loved you…

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