I did everything. For you.
I built you up.
I inspired you.
I invested in you.
You make it even harder.
You were so casual about it all.
Overnight, you went from being my hero to my worst nightmare.
You were so cold.
I felt so alone.
I still do.
I tried to love again like that.
I can’t imagine being that naive again.
I loved you.
& I didn’t even have to think about it.
I remember feeling so safe with you.
I had no fear.
In loving you.
I trusted you.
I guess that is your strength.
You get people to trust you.
Parts of me knew.
I remember crying alone so many nights.
Feeling so completely alone.
Asking myself why you wouldn’t open up.
It was never going to be enough.
I was never going to be enough.
I thought I was doing better.
But lately, the pain is all I can feel.
I felt it before.
But now…the pain is a part of me.
I need to stop.
I need to let it go.
Why can’t I?
Will I ever?
Why do I care so much?
Why did I ever even love you?
You certainly don’t care. You’ve moved on.
You are “happy now”
Living your new life.
Until it’s not your new life and you wake up one day and check out.
I hope that one day you understand.
That is all I want.
I want you to understand my pain.
I want you to feel the pain I feel.
I want you to not be so reckless.
I regret not thinking it through.
I just went with my instincts.
& it proved me wrong.
Now I can’t trust myself.
I can’t trust anyone.
With my heart.
I feel nothing.
My new love hurts.
He needs me to feel.
I wish he could understand…
how much I wish I could.
but you stole it all.
You stole everything.
I still have nothing to give.
Will I ever?
It’s been almost 7 months.
How could I still be hurting?
I wish my story could have been different
How did I let myself get so involved without verifying your heart was in it?
I wish I could at least say with confidence, you truly loved me.
& don’t you dare even try and say you did.
Until you love somebody so much it hurts.
Until you truly love someone.
You have no idea what I am talking about.